DESPAIR

It was a heartwarming love of hers to look after the wellbeing of the children. They meant true joy and a sense of achievement,ever so often the heavy piles of the wealth,couldn’t account for or the certificates of tedious courses though were cherishable but could be nowhere compatible. As the children grew she continued to make the home beautiful for them.She hated to dwell in past and loved the bright sunshine and days brimming with hope, dream and an unseen life that gave her courage to go on.

Emma has always been a fighter and she knew how to push boundaries and create the vision from scratch. She would mostly be lost in her work but her mind was focused on escape from the life that was led by others and she felt trapped immensely. It was like a beaded braid everything entangled, to open one knot you go through three trails ,not knowing which one should be at the top.As she was tidying up the kitchen he was sitting in a comfy chair watching News. She tried to tiptoe and continued her chores as any disruption can make him loose his mind. Sadly the silence has a noise and the whispers sometimes echoes. This lead to the tables turn and in a glance everything was broken, her heart racing, voice lost and she tried to keep smiling as it is so crucial that the children see normality around them. Sometimes these smiles were drenched in fears and sometimes in tears, She didnt knew which one was more painful. In the midst of this she made sure everything was in a proper order in the house. But he would always make sure he bring her down, belittling, shouting throwing.

She just couldn’t do enough, It would always be wrong, less and not worthy.

Broken glasses on the feet, faint marks that say nothing but felt deeper than a wound that was raw. its hard, the world outside is scary so she was told to say to none as the fault lies in her.

In this strange journey she never felt pain , she seem to be correcting , adjusting ensuring all goes as he plans.But this was not always the case there were times she revolted say things but the consequences were bad so she learned silence,silence on the lips but colours that touched her eyes were the shades of life that God created and they wrapped her in sleep as the eyes knew no dreams.

As time passed she matured and accepted that life is not perfect but you live for others sometimes. Her own personality was dimming, she didnt knew anything other than what he liked for her, she didn’t knew her hands were magical and she can write for hours, her hands soaked in mud can create a garden with flowers that kiss the sunshine, her fingers can twist and turn to carve objects to sew pieces to make pretty items that can comfort her and others.

To be continued

BEHIND THE CLOSED DOORS

Behind the closed doors there was darkness

there was fear, silence and loneliness

No heart to touch, No hands to hold

No shoulder to lean

Behind the closed doors there was dreams drenched in tears

There was sand in a strange desert,

sand that was like grit in eyes that stays and eyes stay open

Behind closed doors there was no sleep but silent moans

There ware tasks that dwell through days that end in sleepless nights

Tasks that were meant to spend time so it goes

as if day has no joy and night has no hope

Behind closed doors there was the veil that covered an aching soul

So no light can touch her and no warmth can comfort her

So she got lost in her own despair

Behind the closed doors.

Laaibah

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